An Interview With a Doctor, Published Without Permission
by Cleopatra Antoinette
Summary: I, the daring interviewer, have gone and done what everyone believed impossible- gained an interview with the infamous Doc himself! ... Okay, it wasn't that impossible, but it was about his love life! ... Fine, that's not impossible either, but it's about the moment he realized he was really, truly in love! That's gotta be worth something, right? (Rated M for intimate memories)


So this idea popped into my head out of nowhere when I was giving some serious thought to the various romances in SWTOR... Yes, I'm a dork. Anyway, I sort of was thinking about how some of the guys go from being in "Casual but monogamous relationship" mode to "I love you, let's get married." That evolved into the question "Well, when was the first time the guy in question actually made love to whomever his romantic interest is?" Personally I think there's a difference between sex and making love, and it's an interesting turn of events when it switches from one to the other.

Basically I'm going to make a collection of these for all of the potential male romances in which they tell me, the lovely interviewer, when they realized they were in love. And then showed it.

How did I do this? ... Well, I've made serious vows to my interview-ees about not revealing how I got them to tell me these little details. If I keep my mouth shut, they've promised not to slit my throat while I sleep.

In any case, this is Doc's response to my question. I hope you guys appreciate what I had to go through to get this.

Seriously though, this story is rated M for flashbacks of a... personal, mature nature. Also, this is all Doc's dialogue directed to me, but none of my responses are put in to keep the flow simple and amusing.

* * *

**A Story and Advice from Ol' Doc**

**dialogue from an interview conducted by your's truly (i.e., me)**

You wanna know _what_? Are you crazy? Wait, scratch that. The fact that you're here already answers that question. Why do you wanna know anyway? I mean, yeah, ol' Doc's not exactly an unknown here, but this is taking the fandom a little too far, don't you think?

… Wait, how did you get on the ship anyway? Actually, you know what, don't answer that. I don't wanna know.

Okay, look.

This really isn't the kind of conversation you have with a complete stranger. And _no_, batting your eyes is _not_ going to work on me, sweetie. I'm already taken.

How can you blackmail me _that_? I didn't say who I'm taken _with_. For all you know it could be with Scourge over there.

… Oh, god. Images. That was so wrong.

Alright already, fine, I'll tell you! Will you just shut up and leave me alone afterwards? Fine, deal, okay.

The first time we did it, it was probably… What? What do you mean, that's not what you wanna know? You specifically said- having sex i_s_ the exact same thing as making love! It is so! Well, I think I would know all about it since I am, in fact, a doctor and you're a… whatever.

Okay, writer, sorry. Don't get all sensitive on me.

Alright… the first time we made love… Yeah, yeah, I know what it is! I know the difference! Yeesh!

First tell me what you know. Everything? What about the time we got captured by the Emperor himself in his fortress- No way! How'd you know about that?! Alright, fine, explanations later.

Anyway… the first time…

When we were captured, and me and the crew were stuck in cages while they were doing force-knew-what to her, all I could feel was terror. I don't mean "you didn't study for a final exam, got into a traffic accident," or even "double crossed a Hutt," terror. I mean the kind of terror that seeps into your bones, when you realize that when you see into your future, all you see is death. And not even a quick death. A slow, parade-your-worst-nightmares-in-front-of-you death. The kind that your mothers and fathers pray you'll never have to go through.

You know what's funny? I didn't even know that's what it was until later. Well, maybe a small part of me knew it, but I didn't _know_, know.

Anyway… we were all kept apart from each other, in isolation most of the time. We never knew if each other were alive or not until they let us sit in the same room together. Probably it was some Imperial tactic to make us desperate.

It didn't really work on me… until I saw her.

I don't know how long it had been since I'd last seen her. Days, weeks, I still don't know for sure. But I thought she was dead. I hoped that she was, a little, because I didn't want them to kill who she was. Turns out they almost did. Anyway…

She looked the same as ever when she walked into the room where they kept my cell. Different clothes, of course, but her actual face and body hadn't changed. At least not physically. But I knew she was different. When I saw her, she was like… a zombie. She didn't move the same way. She didn't walk the same, speak the same. She didn't speak at all until the Sith she was with spoke to her. And her voice was empty. There was no laughter in it. There was no spirit. None of that humor, none of the peace… It was like…

It was like she was gone.

Sorry. Needed a second there.

They used her as my torture, knowing that I had a soft spot for her.

What do you mean, 'soft spot sounds heartless'? What am I supposed to say? That seeing her like that was like someone was trying to pull my heart out of my chest and toss it into a meat grinder? Would that make it seem better?

I shouldn't raise my voice at you. Sorry. Again.

The Sith… she was at his beck and call. Wasn't happy about it, but didn't care either. He called her over. Made her kiss him right in front of me.

Whatever he told her to do, she did.

…

"_Kiss me, lick me… kneel before me, acolyte."_

"_Gorgeous… beautiful, can you hear me?" Trembling fingers reached up towards his cell walls, not caring that they would be singed and burned. "Sweetheart, please, you don't want to do this..."'_

_Rustling clothes, the smirk on the face of the Sith as she undid his pants, no expression, no pleasure or anticipation in her as she began to stroke her new master's shaft._

"_Oh, baby, please, don't-"_

_Laughter. Loud, mocking laughter._

…

Where was I? Right. Did whatever they told her to.

What look? I don't have any look.

Drop it. Okay?

Okay. So… after that, I kind of shut down for a while. I didn't really pay attention to what was happening. Until Scourge over there got us out of our cages, insisting that our fearless leader was back to her old self. I really can't tell you how I actually felt when I realized that it was her walking towards me. Not her robot self, not in zombie mode, but honest-to-gods there. Her voice, her eyes, her smile, everything was real again. She was real again. Of course I didn't really get a chance to say anything to her then since we were kinda, you know, running for our lives away from the freaking Emperor's guards. Tends to ruin any romantic moments you might have.

And right after that, we flew to Tython. We were there for a few days, and I didn't get to see her much then, either. Not that I was too upset. She was getting some well deserved relaxation, and so were the rest of us. She needed it the most.

It happened after we left that prison planet, whatever it was called. Belsavis, right, thanks. I hated that place. Great scenery, but deadly inhabitants. And the weather was ridiculous. Hot in one spot and freezing in another. At least on Tatooine you got some stability. Anyway, back to my story.

She came back on board, and like we always do after a big mission, the whole crew just kind of went into coma mode. I mean everyone sleeps for like two days and doesn't do anything. That was when it happened. I guess something in me just… snapped. All she had to do was smile.

…

_She was covered in bruises from her latest foray into Belsavis. The prisoners hadn't been too happy to give up their all-too brief shots at freedom, and the Imperials even less so about losing a potential foothold. But she was back, and mostly in one piece, and joking about things just like before. _

_It was driving him crazy. How could she be this fine after everything that had happened? How could she be so calm after everything? How? The two of them hadn't even had time to talk since the rescue from the Emperor's fortress. He didn't know if she was in decent shape or not._

_There was no indication of anything wrong with her when he gave her a medical exam. Except for the fact that she never looked him straight on in the face._

"_Alright, gorgeous, what's up?"_

"_What do you mean?"_

"_You haven't even so much as talked to me since we left the fortress. I keep trying to get you down here and you don't-"_

"_I just… I just don't want to make it weird."_

"_Make what weird?"_

"_The fact that I… that on the ship, the Overseer and I… that he… I guess I just didn't want to get the inevitable conversation about it."_

_He stopped moving, and just stared at her, eyes narrowing slightly. "What are you talking about?"_

"_Well, I know you probably don't want to do anything with me now that… that happened." The calm in her voice was completely forced, trying to make herself sound casual and unaffected by the direction their little talk was going. "I mean, you're only the second guy I've been with and I figured since I was a Sith t-toy you probably wouldn't be interested-" _

_That was that. He leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, effectively silencing her nonsense words. It wasn't fierce, but it was demanding, allowing no fighting back or protests. She couldn't protest anyway, and returned the kiss with fervor after a moment of surprise. He pulled away after a few seconds and went to the medbay door, locking it before turning back to her, pulling off his shirt. _

"_Doc, you sure-"_

"_Beautiful, I don't wanna hear anything from your mouth except screaming and begging for more for the next hour."_

_Clothes were shed, surprised words turned to moans, his hands skimmed over her soft skin, kneading, pressing, rubbing, kissing, licking. His fingers dipped into her, making her arch and cry out softy as he moved slowly and gently one second and then fast and rough the next. He wanted to hear every sound she made, every cry, every gasp, every whimper, and he couldn't understand why he needed and wanted it so desperately. _

_It wasn't until she came shuddering and crying that he realized what he wanted. He wanted her to _live_. He wanted to see her laugh and cry and-_

"_Doc…" his name ghosted through the air like a prayer as her body came down from its high, and he gave a strangled sort of sob before slipping into her, knowing right then and there that it was _real_. She was _real_, she was _alive_, that was really _her_ voice gasping his name, those were _her_ arms wrapping around him, it was what she _wanted_, and she wanted _him_…_

_He moved slowly, almost painfully, kissing her lips, her eyelids, her nose, her cheeks, wanting to memorize this moment for the rest of his life. He would never forget it, would never want to, and wanted it to last forever. He didn't know if she remembered what they made her do on that damned ship, but he'd wipe it out of her mind if she did, make her body forget any touch but his, remind her that she was just as he called her, beautiful, wonderful, perfect, loved…_

…

That was when I probably realized it. That I… y'know, cared about her more than in a casual fling kind of way.

Oh, come on, that's as sappy as it gets with me. At least with someone like you. Please, my tone was completely respectful. And now you've got your info, Nosey, so I'd suggest you head on your way out before I give you some sort of weird disease. I would completely do it. Alright, fine, one last question.

You wanna know how you know when it's right?

You'll just know. Trust me. I'm a doctor.

* * *

So there you have it. Straight from the horse's mouth himself. So to speak. It was a lot more challenging writing Doc than I thought it would be. But I hope it was good enough for my dear readers to take some amount of pleasure in. I plan on getting all the other ones up as well at some point, although I admit I've only finished a few storylines enough to fit them properly into the stories.

The Sith in question who sleeps with the JK while she's under the emperor's influence is a Pureblood named Overseer Chaskar. I also thought that they'd torture all of the crew members in different ways, and since the JK would tell them anything while brain washed, including anything about her crew members.

I deliberately left the JK's appearance and race ambiguous for ya'lls pleasure, so you could toss your own female JK's in. If you have any helpful, constructive criticism, please let me know in a review. Note that constructive criticism is NOT THE SAME AS FLAMING. And if you just want to review because you want to tell me if you enjoyed it, that works just fine for me too.

Until next time!


End file.
